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What You Need to Know About the Big O in A Time of Corona Virus

 
What You Need to Know About the Big O in A Time of Corona Virus


Unless you’re one of the boomers who have been caught on social media flouting the “social distancing” law, you might have an inkling of what the term means. Given that we can’t be in close proximity to a human being for the past few weeks, the unlucky majority of us can’t partake in the wonderful activity that is fornication. And by fornication, we mean sex because we are a population are extra horny because of Covid-19.

If you’ve clicked into this article, it might be because you have the humour of a college frat boy because the picture we chose is pretty click bait-y. Or it might be because Siri can’t answer you when you go “Sir, why am I so god damn horny as of late?” Or it might also be because the skin of your right (or left) hand has started peeling; and it’s not because you’ve started using retinols.

Here, we’ve spoken to Relationship Counselor & Clinical Sexologist Dr Martha Tara Lee of Eros Coaching on everything you need to know about your raging hormones.


We’ve seen a LOT of horny tweets and social media content recently, so why exactly are we so damn horny?

Because at a time like this, we can cry or laugh about it — and making jokes is part of us making ourselves and others around us feel better.



Do you think there are other psychological reasons?
At a time like this when the world as we know it has changed or turned our lives upside down, we are probably less inhibited in that we have less to lose — and so are more honest, real, vulnerable or even horny.


Another thing we’ve noticed is that people are starting to text their exes or their friends with benefits they’ve ghosted to confess their feelings, can you let us in on this phenomenon?
The responsible thing of course is not to do that since we can still pass the coronavirus and other sexually transmitted infections during this time. Solo sex is the safest sex at the moment. However what is the right thing to do is not necessarily the thing we always do.

One reason why we are hooking up with people who are sexually available is because we have more time in our hands, we are bored, and we just want to lose life without any regrets.

Having said this, there are also people reaching out to help others, mend the bridge with family, friends and ex partners. At a time like this, what lies within us just comes up to the surface and reminds us of what and who are truly important in our lives.



What if one’s live-in partner wants to have sex but you’re like “no way” because you’re hideously addicted to Netflix’s “Too Hot to Handle”, is there ever a way to gently let someone down?
The best thing sometimes is not the easiest thing to do — to just say no, or something along the lines of “I don’t think so.” Ambiguity just prolongs the interaction, irritation and frustration for all parties.

A more diplomatic way might be, “You know I care about you, but this isn’t what I am looking for right now.” If they persist, this can be followed by, “Please respect my answer.”


If I’m single and I whack off to porn; am I perhaps starting some kind of cycle I can’t get out of?
A lot of my clients are worried about sexual addiction or porn addiction when in reality, many people masturbate to porn because they do not know how else to masturbate being visual creatures. People who identify as porn addicts tend to have addictive personalities , i.e. they are people who are more likely to be addicted to drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc.

In short, sex is not the problem. It is who they are. The fact that they are concerned about porn dependency means they innately know there must be other ways of self pleasuring without porn — such as mindful masturbation.

One resource you can get is my second book “Orgasmic Yoga” available on Amazon that details creative ways to pleasure yourself so as to acquire more confidence with your ejaculation and erection. If it is a choice of how you choose to masturbate with or to then you are not an addict.




Out of curiousity, how much sex is too much sex?
Too much sex is when one is in pain. When you are in pain, stop. Sexually compulsive people need sex (by self or with others) to the detriment of their work and personal lives.


What if my partner is quarantined in his/her own house; how do we make sexy time?
You can engage in sexting, phone sex, or webcam sex. You can also opt for remote controlled sex toys so that you can control your partner’s erotic peaks while not physically in front of them.




Is there an art to sexting by the way? What do you think makes someone feel good when it comes to this age old art?
Some people are more auditory than others. They can get turned on with sounds, words, and descriptions. The trick is to know your partners’ preference and to be open to experimenting with it.


Because we’re a group of childish boys, can you tell us your best sex joke?
 “We like people who come.”

Dr Lee is a certified sex educator and she has written several books on the big O that are available on Amazon.