A marriage, a new house, and a valiant first attempt at a cross-cultural project later, Men’s Folio reunites with actor Shawn Thia to define his version of a “gentleman”. Under the warm gaze of Tissot, a light-hearted retrospective leads to the gradual loosening of his tie on the concept. After all, it is only through the gradual undoing of old holds that we — or Thia — can truly define our own ideal ways of being.
Shirt, pants, all Maison Margiela; Tie, Polo Ralph Lauren; Gentleman 38mm, Tissot
What does your definition of “gentleman” look like?
On the outside, I would say someone who dresses classily — when people look at you and have a good feeling about you. But on the inside, I feel it’s treating others with kindness. It could be holding the door for someone or letting ladies go first. Small acts like these can really set a gentleman apart.
What do you think informs this definition?
I can’t name names, but I think it’s mostly the Western and Chinese content I watched growing up, where certain male figures behave in ways that make them more appealing, I would associate that with being gentlemanly. Image- wise, I would think of characters from Peaky Blinders. It’s not just the cap; it’s more of the fact that they still dress up even when they are just going to a bar. Then again, it’s not that practical to do so in Singapore, and we are very practical people.
So, in the context of Singapore, would that image change?
I don’t think a Singaporean gentleman would behave differently from a Malaysian gentleman. I think it’s about how you treat people, how you regard yourself, and always making sure you are in a position where you can hold higher ground. It’s the same everywhere.
In the past two years since we last spoke, do you think you’ve come closer to your definition of “gentleman”?
I respect myself a lot more now — out of both fear and discipline — so yes. I’ve been putting in extra work to watch what I eat and how often I move about. It’s very easy to say “I’m busy”, “I’ve no time”, or even “healthy food is expensive”. These are real reasons, but I want to be a better version of myself. I have become quite a different person since then.
Jacket, shirt, all Polo Ralph Lauren; Tie, Brunello Cucinelli; Gentleman 38mm, Tissot
You moved into your new house, got married, and then embarked on your first cross-cultural film project, Lost And Found — huge milestones for an actor.
It was an amazing opportunity. I find the project very meaningful and fun because it’s not something you get every day. I’ve learnt so much. I’m just glad to be able to sort of represent Singapore with my character, Richie. He’s just a normal, nerdy Singaporean boy. I’m very happy to play this role.
What qualities of a gentleman does Richie possess?
Richie is absolutely not a gentleman [laughs]. He’s a kid and has a very naive mindset towards life because he grew up in Singapore, and that was all he was exposed to. I would say his willingness to search for this girl he truly wants to protect and save — all in a foreign place — is what might be most gentlemanly of him. The willingness to get down and dirty.
Did playing Richie highlight certain qualities of a gentleman that you want to have as Shawn Thia?
It made me realise how important it is to have a father figure. I feel every boy has to go through a phase of initiation into adulthood and manhood, and I read somewhere that no boy can truly become a man without a role model to guide him. I grew up always searching for this father figure because my own father wasn’t present, so I guess playing Richie made it more apparent how important a mentor in life is. I think I turned out pretty fine, all thanks to my mom.
So basically, the process of becoming a gentleman requires a role model?
Yes. There’s this societal pressure for a man to just know, automatically. We aren’t built to be introspective and learn about ourselves before we are shaped by our environment.
Participating in Lost And Found means actively negotiating the concept of identity, whether as Richie or as a Singaporean actor Shawn Thia working in Japan. Did you “lose” or “find” any part of yourself in this process?
Becoming Richie wasn’t hard because the drama’s idea is of a Singaporean guy entering unfamiliar territory, which isn’t that different from Shawn Thia’s first time working on a production in Japan.
The parallel nature of the whole experience made my time working on the project all the more memorable; for example, greeting every crew member with “good morning” at the start of the day stuck with me. We may be from different cultures, but if we are all kind, we can probably still communicate and connect with each other without actually speaking the same language.
Jacket, Coach; Shirt, tie, Polo Ralph Lauren; Gentleman 38mm, Tissot
English isn’t your co-star, Anna Yamada’s, first language. How did both of you work it out?
Singaporeans tend to speak a little fast, so if I focus on enunciating my words more clearly, we can have slow but fruitful conversations. If we’re lacking in vocabulary, we just need Google to step in. But apart from that, there was a lot of miming, and we would both mix what English or Japanese we knew and try to talk. That’s how we built our chemistry there.
Did you learn anything new about communication from that process?
It was very endearing to see how we got better and improved at communicating over time. It’s not perfect, but because there was effort, patience, and sincerity, we could still communicate effectively. So long as you are trying to assimilate into another culture, speaking their language is half the battle won. It’s like if an angmoh came up to me and said “eh steady la” or “brother”, I would feel more compelled to connect.
We shouldn’t be afraid of failing, and if we show we are trying to embrace the language, I feel people will reciprocate. Most people are kind. I think being a “try-hard” is more admirable than someone who doesn’t try. He might look like a fool, but at least he’s learning.
You seem to have a very positive and hopeful outlook on the world. I guess this is why projects like Lost And Found find you.
I count my lucky stars.
What about communication with Xenia? She was also shooting a project overseas at the time, right?
Yes, in Taiwan. We’ve reached a point where we don’t have to talk every day, but we want to. During the filming period, whether we were in Taiwan, Japan, or Singapore, we tried to call every day. It was tough. We aren’t exactly fans of checking in for the sake of making sure we’ve spoken to each other. We would rather be with each other. But I’m a tunnel vision kind of person, so if I’m in Japan for work, I will only focus on work. Xenia’s the same, 100% focused when she’s at work. So making a conscious effort to take time to connect was fresh, and we liked learning about ourselves and our relationship from this new perspective and challenge.
Jacket, T-shirt, tie, all Brunello Cucinelli; Gentleman 38mm, Tissot
I imagine this is a great bonding opportunity for both of you since you are both in the same industry.
Yes, and I don’t take this for granted. I always think of this as a privilege.
To end off on a gentleman’s note, I’d like to ask: do you know how to tie a tie?
No. All the ties I buy are zip ties. To be fair, I did try learning. I just don’t usually get the chance to wear them. The few ties I have at home are all pre-tied; I just need to loosen them to put them on. It sounds quite loser-ish. [laughs]
I don’t think so. In fact, that’s probably the norm now.
Well, there are those who learnt it in secondary school, especially if they were part of the student council. I was never part of that group.
So, is there anything you would like to say to those who also don’t know how to tie a tie in 2026?
Learning to tie a tie is now on my to-do list for 2026. I will try my best. If we meet again in another interview, hopefully I can demonstrate. Actually, I bought a few ties recently — about five to six, from a nice tailor. All are pre-tied by the sales assistant. Perhaps I will finally learn to do it myself.
But anyway, my message is: it’s ok not to know how to tie a tie. You’ll get there. You just need to keep trying. I think that, in itself, is part of becoming a gentleman.
Editorial Director Izwan Abdullah
Photography Zantz Han
Styling Manfred Lu
Interview Charmaine Tan
Grooming QQ
Hair Christvian Goh
Photography Assistant Dennis Er
Styling Assistant Dhani Salbini
Once you are done with this story, click here to catch up with our April 2026 issue.